diff --git a/activity.go b/activity.go
index 0206654..81d4dc7 100644
--- a/activity.go
+++ b/activity.go
@@ -1153,7 +1153,7 @@ func honkworldwide(user *WhatAbout, honk *Honk) {
 }
 
 func asjonker(user *WhatAbout) junk.Junk {
-	about := obfusbreak(user.About)
+	about := markitzero(user.About)
 
 	j := junk.New()
 	j["@context"] = itiswhatitis
diff --git a/fun.go b/fun.go
index 265229f..fb4ba81 100644
--- a/fun.go
+++ b/fun.go
@@ -172,7 +172,7 @@ func translate(honk *Honk) {
 
 	noise = strings.TrimSpace(noise)
 	noise = quickrename(noise, honk.UserID)
-	noise = obfusbreak(noise)
+	noise = markitzero(noise)
 
 	honk.Noise = noise
 	honk.Onts = oneofakind(ontologies(honk.Noise))
@@ -316,82 +316,6 @@ func memetize(honk *Honk) {
 	honk.Noise = re_memes.ReplaceAllStringFunc(honk.Noise, repl)
 }
 
-var re_bolder = regexp.MustCompile(`(^|\W)\*\*([\w\s,.!?':_-]+)\*\*($|\W)`)
-var re_italicer = regexp.MustCompile(`(^|\W)\*([\w\s,.!?':_-]+)\*($|\W)`)
-var re_bigcoder = regexp.MustCompile("```\n?((?s:.*?))\n?```\n?")
-var re_coder = regexp.MustCompile("`([^`]*)`")
-var re_quoter = regexp.MustCompile(`(?m:^> (.*)\n?)`)
-
-func markitzero(s string) string {
-	var bigcodes []string
-	bigsaver := func(code string) string {
-		bigcodes = append(bigcodes, code)
-		return "``````"
-	}
-	s = re_bigcoder.ReplaceAllStringFunc(s, bigsaver)
-	var lilcodes []string
-	lilsaver := func(code string) string {
-		lilcodes = append(lilcodes, code)
-		return "`x`"
-	}
-	s = re_coder.ReplaceAllStringFunc(s, lilsaver)
-	s = re_bolder.ReplaceAllString(s, "$1<b>$2</b>$3")
-	s = re_italicer.ReplaceAllString(s, "$1<i>$2</i>$3")
-	s = re_quoter.ReplaceAllString(s, "<blockquote>$1</blockquote><p>")
-	lilun := func(s string) string {
-		code := lilcodes[0]
-		lilcodes = lilcodes[1:]
-		return code
-	}
-	s = re_coder.ReplaceAllStringFunc(s, lilun)
-	bigun := func(s string) string {
-		code := bigcodes[0]
-		bigcodes = bigcodes[1:]
-		return code
-	}
-	s = re_bigcoder.ReplaceAllStringFunc(s, bigun)
-	s = re_bigcoder.ReplaceAllString(s, "<pre><code>$1</code></pre><p>")
-	s = re_coder.ReplaceAllString(s, "<code>$1</code>")
-	return s
-}
-
-func obfusbreak(s string) string {
-	s = strings.TrimSpace(s)
-	s = strings.Replace(s, "\r", "", -1)
-	s = html.EscapeString(s)
-	// dammit go
-	s = strings.Replace(s, "&#39;", "'", -1)
-	linkfn := func(url string) string {
-		if url[0] == '@' {
-			return url
-		}
-		addparen := false
-		adddot := false
-		if strings.HasSuffix(url, ")") && strings.IndexByte(url, '(') == -1 {
-			url = url[:len(url)-1]
-			addparen = true
-		}
-		if strings.HasSuffix(url, ".") {
-			url = url[:len(url)-1]
-			adddot = true
-		}
-		url = fmt.Sprintf(`<a class="mention u-url" href="%s">%s</a>`, url, url)
-		if adddot {
-			url += "."
-		}
-		if addparen {
-			url += ")"
-		}
-		return url
-	}
-	s = re_link.ReplaceAllStringFunc(s, linkfn)
-
-	s = markitzero(s)
-
-	s = strings.Replace(s, "\n", "<br>", -1)
-	return s
-}
-
 var re_quickmention = regexp.MustCompile("(^| )@[[:alnum:]]+ ")
 
 func quickrename(s string, userid int64) string {
diff --git a/fun_test.go b/fun_test.go
deleted file mode 100644
index 49c6363..0000000
--- a/fun_test.go
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,15 +0,0 @@
-package main
-
-import (
-	"testing"
-)
-
-func TestObfusbreak(t *testing.T) {
-	input := `link to https://example.com/ with **bold** text`
-	output := `link to <a href="https://example.com/">https://example.com/</a> with <b>bold</b> text`
-
-	tmp := obfusbreak(input)
-	if tmp != output {
-		t.Errorf("%s is not %s", tmp, output)
-	}
-}
diff --git a/markitzero_test.go b/markitzero_test.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a26b234
--- /dev/null
+++ b/markitzero_test.go
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+package main
+
+import (
+	"testing"
+)
+
+func TestMarkitzero(t *testing.T) {
+	input := `link to https://example.com/ with **bold** text`
+	output := `link to <a class="mention u-url" href="https://example.com/">https://example.com/</a> with <b>bold</b> text`
+
+	result := markitzero(input)
+	if result != output {
+		t.Errorf("\nexpected:\n%s\noutput:\n%s", output, result)
+	}
+}
diff --git a/web.go b/web.go
index 7db75aa..9d6356b 100644
--- a/web.go
+++ b/web.go
@@ -527,7 +527,7 @@ func showuser(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) {
 	filt := htfilter.New()
 	templinfo["Name"] = user.Name
 	whatabout := user.About
-	whatabout = obfusbreak(user.About)
+	whatabout = markitzero(user.About)
 	templinfo["WhatAbout"], _ = filt.String(whatabout)
 	templinfo["ServerMessage"] = ""
 	templinfo["HonkCSRF"] = login.GetCSRF("honkhonk", r)